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I’ve been spending a lot of my research time at Miskatonic University. Pre-1984, of course. The place feels much safer prior to Past Me screwing up and getting the Necronomicon destroyed.
Given the excessive amount of reading I’ve been doing there, you can imagine my surprise when I learned that one of the orbs was being kept in Arkham Museum, only a short distance from the university. Right under my nose the whole time.
The man who discovered the orb and brought it to the museum was one Dr. Richard Walsh. Hey, haven’t seen him since the weird stuff in Egypt. Wonder how he’s doing in 1963.
Stopped by his home, to check up on him and ask about the orb. I know I should have expected it, but when he answered the door, I was surprised by how old he looked. It’s been decades since he saw me, but for me, it’s only been about half a year. His hair had gone completely grey, there were wrinkles on his face, and he was moving slower. But his eyes still had a spark of youth in them, a spark which brightened when he recognized me.
He didn’t seem at all fazed by my unchanging appearance. “I’d heard that you made it out of that temple alright.” He said. “I was wondering how you did that, especially because the temple vanished right after we left. No doubt it was very exciting?”
His enthusiasm was encouraging. I don’t see that much happiness around me. “Yeah I had quite the experience in there. Shame you missed it. So what have you been up to since then?”
He invited me inside, and we talked. He hadn’t slowed down since the Egypt dig, and seemed to have been spending most of the decades since I saw him uncovering ancient eldritch ruins and artifacts. I asked him about the orb, and he said it was found in an abandoned monastery in Bhutan. The expedition nearly fell apart due to workers having mysterious bouts of amnesia. “Some people would disappear for weeks, only for us to find them without any memory of who they were or why they were there. Things got really crazy once we found the orb; we even had to fight our way past spiders made of bone once!”
It sounded like an amazing trip. Wish I had been there for it.
As our conversation extended into the afternoon, a boy entered the home. “Grandpa, I’m back!” He said.
“Peter! There’s someone here you’ll probably want meet. Remember that story I told you about the adventurer called I-330?”
Wait, Peter? His grandson? Crap, think of something to say to the elementary school kid other than “I had wild hot sex with you two decades from now.” This whole night was throwing me off….
His eyes got wide when he heard my name. “You’re really her?” He said.
“I had wild-I mean, yes. I am indeed her.”
“Wow….” He looked so excited. I couldn’t help but entertain him with tales of my adventures. Mostly the ones from earlier in my life. Back before the bodies started stacking up around me.
One should never underestimate how demanding children can be. It was night by the time Richard pulled Peter away and said, “That’s enough for now. Time to go to bed.”
After Peter was asleep, I made the request I’d come for. “So, about that glowing orb you found… I kinda need it. For stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“Oh, you know. Rescuing damsels in distress.” And ripping spacetime to pieces in the process. Didn’t say that last bit out loud.
He chuckled. “That sounds interesting. The orb is being kept in the Arkham Museum right now. I have a key to the building, and the security there knows me, so there shouldn’t be any issues with walking in and taking it. It’s not as if they’re putting it on display; they’re just keeping it in some back room storage.”
That sounded easy and simple. I like easy and simple. I don’t get enough easy and simple. But I’ve been through this enough times to know that easy and simple is something which just doesn’t happen to me.
The campus was abandoned that late at night. Even with the soothing fooling of the chaos emanating from the Necronomicon maintaining the old god’s influence over the area, I was still on edge. Perhaps more so than usual; the seeming ease of this task was making me paranoid.
Once we left campus, back into the relatively cold and clinical atmosphere of the Fear’s universe, I became even jumpier. The darkened buildings looked like black monoliths casting inky shadows which could hide all manner of dangerous secrets in them….
We made it to the Museum, and Richard opened one of the back doors. So far, no problem. Walked down the hallways for a bit, past several of the museum’s offices. “The orb’s usually kept back in the storage rooms.” Richard said. “When we had it at the university, people were constantly researching it and trying to figure out its origin, but when we gave it to the museum, they put it in a box and never so much as talk about it. I’ve spoken with the curators many times, but they’re insistent on never touching it. Such a waste.”
The room we went to was in an out of the way corner of the building. There wasn’t much in there; a few dusty crates that looked like they’d been forgotten back here, plus a small crate emanating a glow from inside. Three guesses what was in it.
The ease of this task was probably setting some kind of personal record. ‘Course it didn’t last, but for a brief, wonderful moment, I actually started to think that maybe I could grab the orb and walk out without having to deal with anything trying to stop me.
Someone stepped out of the shadows of the room. On the outside, it looked like a security guard. But the way time bent away from the man’s body was as if it was reacting to the presence of a Fear. It opened its mouth, and an emotionless voice came out. “We have been expecting you, I-330.”
“Who’s this?” Richard asked. “I don’t recognize him from the security staff….”
“I’m guessing the Epping AquaTarkus.” I answered, and the being nodded in agreement. “Or EAT. A creature made of liquid that can take control of anyone who ingests it.” Then, to EAT, “What do you want? ‘Cause whatever understanding we had was kinda broken back when you and the Archangel attacked me out of nowhere back in Louisiana.”
The body’s face didn’t register any hint of reaction. “The alliance between us was one of mutual benefit. So long as we worked against a common foe, it was in our best interest to assist you. Now that your current goals conflict with ours, we are forced to stop you.”
Had a gun drawn and aimed at its face in an instant. “I’d like to see you try.”
EAT didn’t move. It didn’t need to. Before I could shoot, the fire alarm went off and the sprinklers on the ceiling turned on. And by the way the timelines were reacting, every drop of water that fell from those sprinklers contained EAT.
I fired, but with the timelines freaking out and bending away from every droplet of EAT, my aim went wild.
“You know your stupid water stuff doesn’t work on me!” I shouted over the shrill of the alarms.
“Of course.” It replied. “But I do not need to possess you with my Ink. I merely need to prevent you from reaching your objective.”
I tried running forward, but the puddles of water at my feet whipped up and tripped me. Tried warping to the orb, but the timelines were so distorted that following any of them and landing where I wanted to inside the room was impossible. The alarm was only a mild inconvenience compared to the sensory confusion caused by time’s distortion. Imagine trying to focus while having bright neon lights flashing right in your eyes while hundreds of people scream in your ears and your skin alternates between burning hot and freezing cold, and then you may be able to picture a fraction of what it felt like I was going through there. I was soaked in EAT, and more of it was constantly falling around me, making me practically blind and unable to do anything.
“You cannot succeed here.” It wasn’t gloating. It was stating fact. “I would advise you to leave and abandon your mission.”
I responded by trying to shoot it again. Missed, but it got the message.
“Your refusal to surrender is an admirable trait, but you continuously take it to absurd lengths. There is no action you can take to succeed.”
“Oh, I dunno ‘bout that.” Someone behind EAT said. “I could travel to earlier today, before you’ve had your chance to set up here, hide in one of these crates, and then just stroll over and grab the orb while you’re distracted by the me from several hours ago.”
There I was, standing next to a now open crate, with the orb in hand and a victorious smile on my face.
Even then, EAT didn’t show a reaction. “Yes, you could do that. It would appear I have underestimated the speed which you have adapted to non-linear thinking.” It glanced over at the current me. “Or I have underestimated your willingness to risk paradox by explaining your future plans to your past self.”
Paradox or not, that sounded like a solid plan to me. Made a random jump to a different part of spacetime, and went ahead putting my ingenious idea into action. We’ll fast forward to the part where I had gotten the orb.
I expected EAT to fight back. Instead, once the earlier version of me vanished to enact the plan, the alarm was silenced and the sprinklers stopped. “Further conflict here would be pointless. I will concede here.” It began to walk away.
“What? That’s it? I won?” Ha! Take that, Fear!
“Yes. This is your victory. Though a pyrrhic victory.”
“What do you mean by that?”
EAT gestured at a prone body lying on the ground, and suddenly I remembered that Richard had been with me. I ran over to him as fast I could. “Richard, are you okay?”
He coughed up a lot of water, and then looked at me with a blank expression. “Richard. Are. You. Oh. Kay.” Was his emotionless reply.
“He swallowed a significant amount of my Ink.” EAT said. “By the end of this month, he will become part of us.”
Leveled my gun right at EAT’s head and pulled the trigger. No attempt to resist on its part. It collapsed, water leaking from the hole. Just a pointless expression of anger. One which didn’t really help at all in making me feel better.
Dammit.
That’s two orbs. Three to go.
I-330
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