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I’m sure I could list various good qualities about Virginia, but my current favorite has to be a near complete lack of hesitation when it comes to answering the call for adventure. Stopped by her family’s home at night, and tossed pebbles at her window until she opened it and stuck her head out.
“You know, I have a cell phone. You could have just called me.”
“I… well… shut up I need to get into the Dreamlands.”
Explained everything as quickly as I could. When I reached the part about EAT and the Archangel… her expression got pretty stormy.
“You’re working with the Fears.”
“Well, yes, but only because they also want to save the world….”
“Only so they can keep tormenting people.”
“Hey, EAT hasn’t been unreasonable-”
“Stop. No. Those bodies it used to communicate with you? Those used to be people! Regular people, living regular lives, until EAT came and gutted everything meaningful out of them because it felt like having a new pair of arms!”
The strength of her anger took me aback. I’d honestly never given much thought to how EAT got the bodies it used.
Virginia’s dad called up from the floor below. “Everything all right up there, honey?”
“Yes dad!” She shouted back. Then she quickly pushed me into a closet and jumped back in bed, just as her dad cracked open the door.
“I heard you shouting. Are you sure everything’s all right?”
“Yes dad, I was just on the phone with one of my friends.” Was this the same Virginia I had been talking to? Her voiced sounded so much more… chipper. She sounded… well, she sounded like someone pretending to be a young girl.
“Well all right. Don’t stay up too late, you still have school tomorrow. The break hasn’t started yet.”
“I know dad, I know.”
Once he left the room, she relaxed, and her voice returned to normal. “I’ll help. Because it would really suck if the world was destroyed. Just so long as we’re not teaming up with any Fears while I’m around, I’m in.”
That, I could agree to. Virginia went to sleep, and I followed the path she created into the Dreamlands.
This time, we appeared on a ledge jutting from a mountain. That surprised me. “Isn’t the entrance in the Enchanted Woods?” I said.
“Technically, yeah.” Virginia said. “But this was where I was exploring before you woke me up.” She waved to indicate the steel grey mountains around us.
“Why were you exploring a place like this?”
“Why not? Not all of us are always rushing around to save the world. Some of us prefer a more relaxing pace for our death defying adventures. Besides, it’s one of my goals to climb up all of these.”
All of them? That’s a lot of mountains. “How long have you been doing this?”
“Dream time or earth time?”
“Dream time.”
“About 15 years, on and off.” She grabbed an outcrop above us, and started to climb. “Come on, let’s get moving.”
“Wait, you want me to climb this?”
“Yeah. I’ve heard there’s a gate to the real world in this area. So we’d best get exploring.”
I followed her as she ascended the mountain, but, well, let’s just say that one of us has 15 years of climbing experience and the other doesn’t. After some distance had grown between us, Virginia shouted down to me, “You okay down there?”
“You’re absolutely sure the opening’s on this mountain?” I shouted back, after pausing for breath.
“Nope! Just that it’s somewhere in this region. We keep exploring until we find it!”
“That is… one of the worst plans I have ever heard!”
“Oh, you’re no fun.” She seemed to think for a moment, and then tapped the mountain. The rock beneath me changed shape, until it resembled a ladder built into the mountain side.
That helped considerably. As I caught up to Virginia, I said, “Why don’t you do this for yourself?”
“Duh. Because that would defeat the whole point of climbing these in the first place.”
Even with the ladder, climbing was hard work. After a while, Virginia created a ledge and we stopped to rest.
“Having fun yet?” She said.
“Maybe.” After my earlier complaining, I wasn’t about to go and say something positive.
“At least the view’s nice?”
Okay. I had to admit, it was a nice view. I don’t think I’d be able to find a mountain range that could match it in the real world. They were like knives cutting the sky, with peaks that looked so sharp you had to wonder if erosion had ever touched them. There wasn’t a single speck of snow on them; nothing but the cold stone, creating an odd wasteland beauty. In some places that beauty was marred by black tears across the ground, through which you could see glimpses of the Grotesque’s circus, but I tried to ignore those parts.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s pretty. I could do without the cold weather, though.”
“Cold? It’s not supposed to be cold here….” Virginia’s eyes widened in fear.
Took me a few moments before my brain clicked. “Wait… do you mean….”
I was cut off by the Wooden Girl’s voice echoing through my head. “Oh Time Girl! We know you’re heeeeeere! Little Blue can feel you! He can feel the coldness inside your heart!”
The wind began to roar around us, filled with snow and hail. Looked over the ledge, and saw turbulent white clouds below, rising toward us.
“Fuck. Now what?” I said.
“Climb!”
“How is that going to help us at all?”
“It’s better than being caught in that!” She pointed at the clouds. Had to agree with her there. The two of us started climbing as fast as we could. Virginia didn’t bother with any more self imposed challenges: as we climbed up, she was changing the path into an easier route. It helped, but we couldn’t stay ahead of the cloud forever.
We lucked out when we reached a cave hidden in the side of the mountain. Jumped inside, and then Virginia sealed the entrance. It was pitch black inside, but an improvement over being caught in the blizzard. The two of us breathed a sigh of relief together.
That relief turned out to be premature. Perhaps we should have looked inside that convenient cave before jumping in, but we were kinda panicked at the time. Bright red torches flared to life, illuminating the interior. With that, we could see it wasn’t a natural cave, but part of a constructed building. There wasn’t much left of the building, apart from the torches and a few collapsed pillars. Opposite the entrance was a gateway made out of black stone. And through that gateway, you could see an open field. Not all that exciting in itself, apart from the incongruity between a mountain cave and a field, but the way time moved around that gate was odd. It was as if there was a barrier, preventing any time from the Dreamlands to pass through.
“I think we might have found that portal to the real world.” I said, and Virginia nodded.
But then, there was another voice. “Oh wow.” It said. “When Grendel stuck me on guard duty, I never thought I’d actually have anyone come here.”
Blood flowed from every crack and corner of the cave, coalescing together into the shape of a human. The Red Cap shifted between forms, first female, then male, and finally settling on something androgynous.
“You came all the way here just to visit me, I-330? I’m so flattered.” It said.
Virginia glanced at me. “You’ve got a plan for this, right?”
“Virginia, the most important thing you need to learn if you’re going to keep adventuring with me… I never have a plan.”
Time to make stuff up. Ran for the gate, hoping I could get past the Red Cap. No such luck; tendrils of blood rose from the ground and wrapped around my feet, holding me in place. Virginia created a club out of the rock wall, and swung it at the Red Cap. Smashed through its head, splattering blood everywhere. But that blood quickly moved back into the Red Cap’s body, making it whole again. Before Virginia could attack again, the Red Cap grabbed her by the arms. It changed into the form of a beautiful man, and Virginia hesitated. Hesitated long enough for the Red Cap to flow through her lips, into her body.
Virginia screamed in pain as her body twisted and contorted. I tried to get to her, but the blood kept me trapped where I was. Virginia fell onto the floor, and screamed one final shout of agony that gradually changed into a moan. She pulled herself off the floor, and looked longingly at me with red eyes.
“You like this body better, don’t you?” The Red Cap’s voice was coming out of Virginia’s mouth. “I know how you look at it. And considering how young she is in the real world… my, what a scandal.” It stepped forward and put its arms around me. “But scandal only makes it more fun….”
It moved its face closer to mine, and I tried to turn my head away. But I couldn’t resist that alluring look in its eyes…. Tried to say, “Virginia, stop,” but was silenced by its kiss before I could get to the third syllable. Warm blood flowed from Virginia’s lips into my mouth, and I felt my world spinning around me, and… where did my trench coat go okay no Virginia stop trying to take off my suit stop okay fine take of the suit is it getting hot in here I think I should take off this tie yeah it’s definitely getting hot in here Virginia would probably appreciate it if I helped her take off that warm looking shirt for her….
In the heat of the moment, I hadn’t even realized how much of the Red Cap’s blood I’d been swallowing until it suddenly thickened inside my throat. Blocked off my air flow insantly; it wasn’t trying to control me, this time, it was trying to choke me to death.
“Sorry love.” The Red Cap said, holding me as I gasped for air. “Boss’s orders. No one gets near the gate.”
Just then, the rock wall Virginia had made blocking the cave entrance was torn to pieces. Strings came through the entrance, and slashed open Virginia’s and my throats. More strings went into the wounds, pulling out and tossing aside clots of blood, before stitching the cuts back together.
The Wooden Girls’ voice seethed with rage as it went through our heads. “Keep. Your. Hands. Off. My. Toys.”
The Wooden Girl strode into the cave, pure anger painted onto its face. Just behind it was the Cold Boy, still with its small smile.
The blood that had been torn from our throats formed back into the Red Cap, this time taking the shape of a teen girl in a red dress, who looked remarkably like how the Wooden Girl would have looked as a human. “Your toys?” It said. It wrapped its arms around me from behind, pressing as tightly as it could against me. “If they’re your toys, why am I the one who always gets to play with them?”
“Little Blue, kill her.” The Cold Boy waved a hand, and I barely broke away from the Red Cap just before it was hit by a wave of cold. Ice completely covered its body, freezing it in place.
Now the painted face of the Wooden Girl changed into a smile. “Wonderful! Now that we’ve finally got that hussy out of the way, how about you and I do some catching up, Time Girl? And look, you even brought a friend along so Little Blue has someone to play with as well! You’re so considerate.”
Glanced at Virginia, and she… didn’t look good. Still on the ground, awake but unable to stand up. Guess being taken over by a Fear has its drawbacks. Still, had to think of a way to grab her and get out of here….
Steam began to rise from the frozen Red Cap. The ice that had covered it melted away, into a red puddle at its feet. The Red Cap stretched, and said, “Why so cold, Boy? If you want, I’m sure I could warm you up….”
The Wooden Girl’s strings lashed at the Red Cap, wrapping around its body. But the Red Cap melted into blood, and flowed along the strings until it reformed on top of the Wooden Girl. And… well, I’m not sure if it’s even possible to molest a puppet, but the Red Cap sure gave it its best shot.
That got the Fears distracted. Ran to Virginia, who seemed at least capable of sitting by then. She looked at me with an unfocused gaze, before saying, “Did… we just make out?”
“Yes. We did.”
“And then did I….”
“Yes.”
“And then you….”
“Yes.”
“And then….”
“YES, now hurry up, we have to get out of here!” Pulled her up, and then looked toward the exit. Not a very good option; we’d have to make it past the Fears to get through there. Only one other choice, then. Put Virginia’s arm over my shoulder, and then ran through the gate back into the real world.
It was…one of the weirdest experiences in my life. Felt like waking up from already being awake, if that makes sense. We appeared in the field that I’d seen through the gate. Still night time in the real world. Behind us was a circle of stones, through which you could see the Dreamlands cave that we’d come from. Used to be able to see; first thing I did was knock those stones down, causing the gate to disappear. Mission accomplished.
Now for the harder part. When we’d come through the gate, Virginia had changed back into her younger, real world self. Which meant I was lost in some random field that could be anywhere in the world, accompanied by a preteen child dressed in her pajamas, and the sinking realization that I had to somehow get her back home before morning came and her dad woke up.
Barely managed that, through heavy abuse of time travel. Do you know how long it takes to get a private jet to fly you from Illinois to Massachusetts? More time than we had. Luckily I could go back and make those arrangements in advance, as well as the arrangements for transportation from the airport to Virginia’s house. She seemed to be enjoying the race home, but that’s probably because she wasn’t the one freaking out trying to get everything to happen on time. And also because she mercilessly teased me for how I’d acted when the Red Cap took over her body the entire plane flight, while I futilely tried hiding my blushing behind a book. At least after dropping Virginia off she gave me her email in case I need her for an adventure like this again. Not… an adventure exactly like this, I mean. One with much less Red Cap in it. Or Wooden Girl. Or Cold Boy.
Fuck it, can’t I just have an adventure that doesn’t involve any of the Fears?
I-330
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