End

And at last, we reach the part of the story where I enter.

There was no measure of time to tell how long I-330 slept. She really had quite a bit of rest to catch up on. As she drifted through the Quiet, her wounds healed and her limbs grew back. When she finally woke up, she was floating beside me.

It wasn’t the first time I-330 had encountered herself. Though she certainly hadn’t expected it here. And the glowing eyes and aura of light I’d given myself might have been a bit much, but hey, I’ve got to entertain myself too.

With remarkable speed for someone still mostly asleep, I-330 got up and started searching her coat for a weapon. When none was forthcoming, she grew black claws out of her fingers instead.

“Where am I? Who are you? Where’s the Slender Man?” Her voice cracked a little as all the words rushed out.

“The Quiet, Antevorta, wandering around the Quiet someplace.” I gave a little smile. “Any other questions?”

Her posture didn’t relax at all. “Antevorta? You mean the person who made all those weird posts on my blog?”

“I’d hardly say you’re qualified to call my posts weird, given the usual content you put up. But yes, that was me.”

She looked me up and down. “So what are you? Another future version of me?”

“Yes. Kinda. In a way. Look, this is going to take some explaining….”

“Save it. Just tell me where the Slender Man is so I can finish this.” She wasn’t able to control her hands shaking as she spoke. Her eyes kept darting around and she repeatedly looked over her shoulder, as if expecting an attack at any moment. I remembered that feeling. After fighting for so many years, it becomes hard to shut off.

I grabbed her shoulders to get her attention on me. I suspect she’d have tried ripping my throat out if I hadn’t been holding onto her so tightly. “Stop it. There’s nothing to finish. It’s all over.”

She stared at me like I was speaking nonsense, as the color slowly drained from her face. “N-no. No. It’s not over. I can… I can still do something. I can fix everything! Change it back to how it was before!”

“You can’t. You really can’t.”

She thrashed in my grip until she got free. “Yes I can!” Her breathing was becoming much more rapid. “I can do anything! I’ll just try to make another universe! This time it will work!”

“No, it won’t.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I do. Because I already tried it.”

That stunned her enough to at least calm her breathing. “What?”

“You asked me if I was a future version of you, and I said that I am, in a way. The truth is, I’m not just a future version of you. I am the future of every iteration of I-330 that has existed.”

“But….” You could almost see her mind trying to break that down. “Every I-330…. I thought I was the only one. The only I-330 in the multiverse. EAT said-”

“Oh, well, of course you’re going to be getting your facts wrong if you go around listening to what EAT tells you.” I giggled at her confused expression. “The Fears are like people on an island, who think that they know everything about the world because they’ve explored the entire island. It’s true, you were the only I-330. In that multiverse.”

“… That multiverse? I thought there was only one multiverse…?”

“Now whoever told you that? No, reality is far larger and amazing than anyone, even the Fears, could imagine.” And then I broke eye contact, because the conversation was about to get depressing again. “An infinite number of I-330’s. Every time we reach this point in our lives, it creates another multiverse, where similar conditions cause the whole cycle to repeat. Every possible idea you can think of for how you would ‘fix’ this, how you would win, has been tried. And every one has failed. This really is the end. It’s over.”

I could see her trying to think of some reason I was wrong. I remember being her and trying to come up with some flaw in the argument I’d heard. Because if what I said was true, then there was no way to take back all the mistakes she’d made. All those deaths would be permanent. And that realization sinking in let loose all the emotions she’d been holding back for so long. Tears rolled down her face. She grabbed me and put her head against my chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

She cried for a long time. Until all the pain and regret had been released. When she stopped, she continued to hold onto me in silence before finally speaking.

“So is that it? End of the road for me? Now I just float around here forever?”

“Not quite. There’s still a little bit more for you to do.” I held her face up and gave her a grin. She needed some good news. “I want to show you something.”

I took I-330’s hand, and carrier her through the Quiet. We reached a crack, through which one could look into another universe.

“Here, I-330. Tell me what you see.”

Rather unenthusiastically, she looked through it. “Stars. Planets. It’s space. I’ve seen lots of space. So what?”

“Let’s move this space a bit into the future. Then we’ll see what you think.” In a place like the Quiet, where time has no real meaning, such a change was easy. Hundreds of millions of years passed in that universe, as I moved the focus of the view toward a tiny little blue planet. “You might recognize this universe. It was the one created by the Slender Man at the end of your battle with it.”

I-330 winced at that. “Rubbing in my defeat?”

“No. Showing you your victory. Keep watching.” Time continued to pass on that planet, as continents moved and cells started growing. “Given an infinite number of universes, anything that could happen will eventually happen.” The cells evolved together, creating larger forms of life which spread across the world and died. “Anything. Even miracles.” A new creature evolved on the planet. A tool wielding primate, with the capability for higher reasoning. I-330’s eyes grew wide as she watched them multiply and build their cities.

“But… those are humans….”

“Yes. They are. In some tiny, faraway corner of this new multiverse, the conditions allowed for the existence of humanity. And so they came to be.” I slowed down the speed at which time was passing in the universe so I-330 could see more. “This is probably the best of all possible outcomes. After evolving in two multiverses that were controlled by monsters, humanity finally gets to live free. There are no Fears here, or any Outer Gods. No Nyarlathotep or Slender Man. Just humanity, finally given the chance to live for themselves.”

Tears appeared in I-330’s eyes again, but for a very different emotion. “Then… I did okay? I was doing the right thing?”

That’s a question I never like answering. “… Maybe. We ensured the survival and freedom of the human race. But all those people we killed are still dead. All the people we knew are gone. They can’t be brought back.” I turned my face toward the planet so I wouldn’t have to look at I-330’s expression. “The end result did work out for the better. But what we did was still monstrous. I suppose it’s up to you to decide whether or not the end justified the means.”

She was silent for a very long time. I closed the crack to prevent the Quiet from spreading to that universe, and let her think for a while. When she spoke, her voice was very quiet. “Is this it? This is where it ends for me?”

Ah, now finally I could get to the good news. “No. There’s still one more thing for you to do.”

“What now?” Her voice dripped with dread.

“The creation of this new multiverse was the best outcome. But in order to ensure it’s the outcome that happens, there’s a little tweaking that needs to be done to the timelines.” I started carrying I-330 through the Quiet again, to a new destination. “There’s only so much I can do while trapped in here. Make a few vague blog posts. Narrate. Nothing major. For the proper order of events to happen, a stronger outside influence is needed.” We reached another crack in the Quiet, leading to a different universe. “Didn’t you ever wonder why you hadn’t experienced any of those adventures with Lisa that got her involved in all of this?”

“Well, yeah. I just thought I’d changed the future or something….”

“No. It was because you don’t start that adventure until now.” I pointed through the crack, into this universe. When I-330 looked through, she gasped. Lisa was on the other side, working in a library, just as she had been the day before she discovered our blog.

“You mean… I get to see her again? I get to be with her?”

“Yes. Up until you die, of course. Because if you go back, you will die. At which point you’ll become me.”

“That’s fine. Dying is fine. Just so long as I get to be with….” She hesitated. “But… if I go back… it will ruin her life. That’s what forces her into this world of monsters and death….”

“Ruin her life? Did she ever think of it that way? You have her memories. Look back at them. Even at the worst times, did she ever regret any of it?”

I-330 shook her head. “No. Even… even when she was being torn apart limb by limb… she still….” I-330 stared through the crack, still not moving. Her eyes narrowed, as if thinking about something. “Before I go… what happened to the Slender Man?”

I laughed. “Oh, it? It’s probably wandering around the Quiet right now. Eventually it will find a crack that leads it to another universe. One ruled by Azathoth and the Outer Gods.”

“Wait… but….” She bit her lip as she tried thinking through the implications of what I’d said. “Isn’t that a paradox? If that’s the case, then where does the Slender Man actually come from?”

“No idea. Maybe one day I’ll figure it out. Until then, it’s just another mystery.” I looked away, lost in thought. “If you could only see what I have seen. Everything you know about reality is just a fraction of its wonder. Even I’ve only been able to scratch the surface of it all. There are so wonders and mysteries out there beyond anything that humans can perceive or describe. Even with an infinite amount of time, I’ll never be able to unravel every secret.” Turned back to look at her again. “But you’ll find out when you get to see it for yourself. For now, you have your reunion to go to.”

I-330 nodded. “You do realize, if I go back there, I will try to change things.”

“Every I-330 does. But it never works. We always end up back here.”

“I’m still going to try.”

“Of course you do. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”

That got a slight chuckle out of her. “Alright then. I’m heading out.” And with that, she stepped through the crack.


I’ve experienced that same meeting so many times. Every time I-330 comes to the end of her journey, it plays out almost exactly the same. And then she goes back to be with her Lisa, starting the whole cycle again. And so it’s gone for all eternity.

But... that’s a lie, isn’t it. Because there’s no such thing as eternity. There is no final revolution. I said that no I-330 has been able to change things. They’ve never been able to break the cycle. But who’s to say they never will? Given an infinite number of repeats, anything that could happen eventually will.

I look forward to seeing it when it does. When she finally changes the future. Slays the monster, gets the girl, saves the universe, all without sacrificing anything. Maybe it’s just a fantasy of mine. But I can imagine it so clearly, it almost feels real. It’s not even a complicated dream, really. Just a single image. The god who chooses to live as a human, trench coat blowing behind her in the wind, riding a motorcycle she stole, off into another adventure.

Maybe if I hold onto that image long enough, it will become reality.